I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
