Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
