Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
