Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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