how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
