I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If that was your dad, he is hot
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize