I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
