Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
