Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
