Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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