Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
