In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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