i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
