the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When did angry sex become our thing?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
