pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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