I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
