so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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