Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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