Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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