i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
