he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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