do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
