jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
