ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well you can't waste a boner
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
