Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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