What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
