I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
