I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
