Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
