But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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