i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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