He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
