their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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