If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize