Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
