ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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