Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
