At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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