i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
