I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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