My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
