shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize