im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i will never coherently bang her
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
