i permit you to call me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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