Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
