no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
