I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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