And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
