Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
