my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize