I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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