Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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