In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
