But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Can I color on your dick again?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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