She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
