Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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