do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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