she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
