I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
