soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
